you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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