Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
He passed out mid-signature
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
