There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
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