you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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