youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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