can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
