he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Randomize
