He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
