i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Randomize
