I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
