The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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