and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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