just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
