I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize