You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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