i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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