At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Randomize
