great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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