I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
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