We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
