Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Randomize
