NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
