well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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