I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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