And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
