I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize
