nut hugger
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
