My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
