I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
