I look better un-naked...
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
