you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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