It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
