even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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