It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
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