anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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