she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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