If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Randomize
