I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
