me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
