And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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