i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
