just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
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