I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
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