Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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