i think my tv is drunk
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
