he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
This is classic penis vs brain.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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