i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
