what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
