you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I need a beard to bite.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
