Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
