i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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